househusband
- Kev: So I was reading this article about laundry...
- Me: *snicker*
- Kev: ...
- Me: hmhmhmhmhhuhmhpffffffpfffffpffffhahahaahmmmmmhmm...
- Kev: You're a bitch.
- Me: HeheheheheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
- Kev: This is why I don't talk to you. *walks away*
- Me: NO, PLEASE! COME BACK! TELL ME OF THE FASCINATING LAUNDRY ARTICLE!!!!!
- Kev: I HATE YOU!!!
Rings
- Friend: You're not wearing your rings!
- Me: What? Oh, no. I don't wear them in the pool. And I take them off at night.
- Friend: I don't think I've ever seen you not wear them.
- Me: I take them off a lot. First thing I do when I get home from work is take off my bra and my rings. THE SYMBOLS OF MY OPPRESSION!!!!
- Friend: *snicker*
oh noooooo!
- *at the ice cream shop*
- Me: I'll take a scoop of the Italian coffee on a sugar cone.
- Shop girl: Is a cake cone OK? The only sugar cones we have right now are these. *points to display of fancy dipped cones*
- Me: Oh no! So the only sugar cones available are dipped in chocolate and sprinkles? I WILL TAKE THAT YES PLEASE!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Wiener [website]
[h/t: pleatedjeans]
An important lesson for all princesses, I think. And princes.
I literally just had an anxiety attack over how much it must cost to feed these dogs every day. IT’S TOO MUCH! THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM! SO MANY BAGS OF FOOD!!
(Source: frenchdad, via thefrogman)
To do list
Request list of European sales data for device from UK office
Notice that inquiry requests sales data broken down into UK, EU, and non-EU
Look up list of EU countries on Wikipedia
Realize I do this every. damn. time. Copy and paste list to word document, print for future reference.
Begin dividing up sales data by EU status.
What is Benelux?
Look up countries in Benelux.
Add separate column to EU list, add Benelux countries for future reference. Reprint.
Wonder why Holland isn’t listed in EU list.
Google “Holland, EU”.
Oh, Holland is a part of the Netherlands, which is EU
Google “countries in Netherlands”
Oh, Holland IS the Netherlands.
Probably should have known that.
Privately embarrassed. Will blame public school education.
Back to sales data. What is CEE?
Google CEE countries. There are a lot of them. Swear.
Add them to second column on EU list. Swear again. Reprint.
Notice not all of them are EU countries. Where do I put their sales data???
Swear some more.
Go to lunch.
Looks like your mom getting ready for work.
Free refills
- Kev: *getting ibuprofen* Do you have something to drink over there?
- Me: Nope, I'm all out. *holds out glass* Thanks!
- Kev: Goddammit. I wanted to take the pills with your drink! I wasn't offering to get you a refill.
- Me: Oh. Too bad. *shakes glass at him*
- Kev: *grabs glass and walks to kitchen* I hate you.
- Me: I LOOOOOOVE YOU!!!
